When I am a Mother

Me Casa, You Casa

2009-08-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I don't know Spanish.

I want my home to be for everyone. When I went to my cousin's house yesterday, everyone was there. Robert's parents and sister. My cousin Rachel and her husband. Tons of people. I thought this was a rare occasion, but it ends up that it's not at all. This is the state of their home everyday.

Robert said later that he built this house for that very purpose. I want my home to be a place where everyone feels welcome. I want it to be a refuge for my children and their friends to come.

Invite Elderly to Dinner

2009-08-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

When I was at Jenny's house in northern Idaho, Jenny's parents invited an elderly man for Sunday dinner. He was the cutest old man and when he left, Jenny's parents told me that his wife had just died one month before.

While Jenny's mom was at church, she felt the strongest feeling to invite this man, that she barely knew, over for dinner. She paused and then invited him.

This experience reminded me of my own mother. When I was young, she invited an elderly man over for dinner and he came several times. It was fun for us as kids to have a visitor and I'm sure it was fun for the elderly man to be around kids again and some company.

When I have my own family, I am going to invite elderly people in my ward or neighbors over for dinner. This will help my children to not be shy, give them a friend at church, and brighten the elderly persons day and life.

A Heavenly Home

2009-08-10T13:54:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I took my friend Scarlet to my cousin Sonya's house. As soon as you entered the house you could feel the spirit. As Scarlet and I talked to Sonya's house, we were filled with so much spirit and you could feel Heavenly Father's influence in our conversation. Scarlet and I both left feeling so uplifted and edified.

This is what I want my home to be like someday. Somewhere where everyone that comes into my home can feel the spirit of the Lord, where they feel like a better person when they leave.

Record Favorite Sayings

2009-08-10T13:52:00.000-07:00

Kids say the cutest things. I once heard of a mother who kept a magnetic notepad on her fridge for each of her kids. She would record anything funny they might say and at the end of the month, she would put each paper in their scrapbooks.

I'll take my children swimming

2009-06-04T23:29:00.001-07:00

I'll take them to the city pool. I'll take them to pools with water slides. I'll buy a water slide for them to play on.

oh there's so many things I miss when I was a child.

Picnics & Kites

2009-05-25T01:26:00.000-07:00

I will take my kids on picnics. This was one of my favorite things to do as a child.

I will also teach my kids to fly a kite. So simple and so fun.

What Was Your Favorite Part of Today?

2009-04-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

There was a family that I adored on my mission named the Lysenkos. Every night before going to bed, they would read a scripture as a family and say family prayers. They would also go around and ask everyone in their family what was their favorite part of the day. It was funny to hear what the little kids said. It allowed the parents to get to know their children better and it helped their children look at the positive things in life and to look for the good in the simple things.

I would like to do this with my family.

Passover Dinner

2009-04-13T22:17:00.001-07:00

When I am a mother, I am going to have a passover dinner every Easter like the Passover Dinner I went to on Saturday.

On Saturday night, I took Dan to the passover Seder dinner at BYU. A bunch of people that I attended Jerusalem with also came (about 20 or more of us).

Dan and I read Exodus 1-20 before going and I am glad we did!

We ate parsley dipped in salt water (symbolic of the tears the Israelites cried while in slavery and also the coming of spring and the perpetual renewal of life)
We ate bitter herbs "maror" (symbolic of the bitterness of Egyptian slavery)
We ate a mixture of apples, nuts, wine, & cinnamon "haroset"(symbolic of the mortar the Israelite slaves used in Egypt)
We ate unleaven bread "three matzahs" (symbolic of the Godhead--God, Savior, and Holy Ghost. The three loaves are stacked one on top of the other in a napkin and the center piece is taken out.)

In case you didn't know, bitter herbs is the worse, faulest horseradish you have ever eaten. It is so bitter it goes right up your sinus', turns your face red, and makes you cry! I had all three symptoms! :-P

After all of this and some repetitions, we ate a really delicious meal and it was really delicious after all that! : ) Helps you realize how long the Israelites had to wait to be freed!

While we were eating we passed a piece of the unleaven bread (the middle piece symbolic of the Savior). It is called "Afikomen." The person that has it at the very end, makes a deal with the head of the table or the patriarch for something of value (tickets to a game, a dinner made by the patriarch, a ride on the patriarch's boat, i.e. anything you can think of!)

This piece of bread is symbolic of the Savior who was broken and taken at a ransom for each one of us.

At the end you also pass the unleaven bread and everyone takes a piece of it. It reminded all of us of the Sacrament we take every week at church.

During passover dinner, they leave an empty chair. This chair is saved for the coming of Elijah and every year they look forward to his coming. He is to come before the promised Messiah. But what the Jews don't know is that Elijah has come!

I have always been fascinated with anything Jewish after my mission where I taught Jews, after meeting a Jewish convert who served in my mission and hearing his conversion story, and especially after living in Jerusalem.

I really loved the dinner. I had no idea what it was about and now I want to do it with my own family someday. It really helps you realize what happened during the Exodus and helps you understand what we have as members of the church.

As a co-worker asked me today, "So are you going to become Jewish now?" I said no, because it's not that we don't believe in what the Jews believe, it is that we know even more. And deep down, I really believe that they know.

Self-Image

2009-03-19T23:33:00.000-07:00

My co-workers and I were talking the other day about how a way a mother talks about her body will influence the way her children will think about their bodies. If a mother is self conscious of her weight and is constantly criticizing her body, her children will also form the same habit.

When I am a mother, I will not talk about my body in self-demeaning way (I don't anyway), but I will now make a conscious effort not to.

It is better to talk about eating healthy and exercising rather than nick pick your body in front of your children.

Right now

2009-01-13T22:48:00.001-08:00

Right now I am working on a video of my grandma. I took video of her in 2007 at important places in her life in my hometown such as the house she grew up in, the dance hall she met my grandfather, the reception center that is now part of ISU, her first apartment, her first home my father was born and raised in, and the house she moved to when she first married my step-grandfather after my grandfather's death. We also went to my grandfather's mothers house where my grandma and grandpa would go to go to the show for fun. It is one thing to go to those places or see pictures, but to take your grandmother there in person makes it much more significant. You can see where everything is put into place.

I am doing this so that my kids can know the great-grandmother they may never get to know.

I'll be in PTA

2009-01-11T14:36:00.002-08:00

I'll be in PTA (I think they changed the name).

I'll Send Balloons

2009-01-11T14:36:00.001-08:00

I'll send them balloons on their birthday while they are at school.

Support My Kids in All Their Events

2009-01-11T14:35:00.001-08:00

I'll go to every t-ball game, art exhibit, dance recital, Christmas program . . .

I'll Tell My Kids I Believe in Them

2008-12-19T22:59:00.000-08:00

When I was young my father told me I was smart. I believed him.

Because of this small statement my father made, I have always strived to learn. I became valedictorian of my high school. I went to college. Because my father believed in me, I became smart.

When I have kids, I am constantly going to tell them they are pretty. That they can change the world. That they are smart. That they care about others. That they are kind. They will begin to believe it and they will do something about it.

That's what I'm going to do for my kids--what my father did to change mine.

I'll Take My Kids to Football Games

2008-11-09T11:27:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I went to BYU's Football Game and there were alot of kids with their parents. When I am a parent, I am going to take my kids to football games.

My roommate Alyssa took her two neices and I ran into my old roommate Amy Cosby with her little boy of only two months old she took to the game.

Athletics were a huge part of my life growing up and I hope I can instill a love of athletics with them.

But I also want to coach volleyball in a high school while I am a mom.

Photo Idea--Take a Photo Every Month

2008-10-22T18:33:00.001-07:00

Take a photo of your child everymonth. Check it out!

http://jadeandben.blogspot.com/2008/07/do-we-have-birthday-here.html

Click here

A Family Home Evening Lesson

2008-09-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

Making a Right Turn
By C.S. Bezas

Each choice can be a critical one that our children make, leading to long and perhaps unforeseen consequences. How important it is that our kids maintain a sensitivity to the Spirit. This Family Home Evening lesson is simple, straightforward and readily teaches a need for spiritual guidance. Time for some easy FHE Fun!

FHE Fun!

Opening Song: #20 God of Power, God of Right

Opening Prayer: By Invitation.

Devotional: Devotionals are quick and sweet opportunities to share a few verses that held meaning during private scripture study from the previous week. Anyone who cares to share may do so during this spontaneous portion of FHE.

Readiness Activity:

Items Needed:

Printout of “Right Turn,” New Era , Sep 2008, pp. 32-34, by Hillary Holbrook
Paper (one per person)
Crayons
Privately study in advance the two articles contained below (at the end of the article).
Activity:

Invite the family to get comfortable, whether by putting out blankets on the floor or pillows or simply sprawling out. The idea is to invoke a state of relaxation.
Ask them to listen for the most visual image described in Hillary Holbrook's story as you read it. They will be drawing that image once the story is done.
Read the story.
Pass out crayons and a piece of paper to each individual.
Give a few minutes, once you've finished reading the story, to allow completion of drawings.
Invite sharing of the visual images.
Once the family has shared their illustration of the strongest visual image they retained from the story, now ask what spiritual image they retained from the story. Allow time for them to think before sharing, as this form of analysis requires a deeper mental process.

After some sharing and brainstorming by the family, ask what would have been the consequence if the girls had not listened to the promptings of the spirit. And then ask this very pointed question: What if the girls had been engaged in activities that deadened their feelings to the Spirit's urgent prompting? Why does the Lord give us commandments to help us?

Application:

Privately study in advance the two articles contained below (at the end of the article). After praying about the articles' meanings and possible impact for your individual family, feel free to testify of the principles of agency, choice, and the bounteous blessings living the gospel brings—including receiving warnings of danger.

Closing Song: #143 Let the Holy Spirit Guide

Closing Prayer: By Invitation.

Refreshments: Colorful M&M™s or Skittle™s in a large bowl would make a fun treat to end this particular FHE. While eating the tasty treats, chat about how each choice leads to individually “colored” consequences. Why not assign one family member to eat only green M&Ms, one family member to eat only blue, and another to eat only red M&Ms. At the end, review their tongues to see the color difference. Have fun talking about the “color” of different choices and where they lead!

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

“Loving Them Back in Lovell,” by Don L. Searle ( Ensign , Jun 1989, 9), is an excellent article for parents who may be struggling with their youth. The author teaches us that love paves all roads back to Christ.

Brad Wilcox teaches an urgent message for parents and leaders of youth in his article, “Helping Youth Follow the Spirit” ( Ensign , Apr 1992, 17). We cannot force their feeling of the Spirit; but how crucial for us to provide the fertile ground for its manifestation.

I want to teach my children to . . .

2008-09-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

. love to hike
. cook
. do laundry
. love the scriptures
. love learning
. learn to read when they are three
. desire to go to college
. play sports
. work hard

My Mother

2008-09-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

My mother is the strongest person I know. She knows what's the most important thing in life. She knows what's eternal.

My mother has unconditional love. I have met many friends who's lives have been hurt by their mothers who didn't have unconditional love for their children. These friends are constantly trying to prove to their mom's that they are worth something. It has caused them alot of pain. Their self-esteems are hurt. It affects the way they treat others--some boasterous, some with anger problems, some doing everything they can to prove to their parents that they are worth loving. This is very sad to me. No matter what they do, they can never seem to change their parent's minds.

They are on an endless search to find approval. Approval that they should receive inevitably from their parents.

I have never had to worry about this. My mom loves me no matter what. She is careful in what she says to me. I tell everyone that the way my mother talks is with whip cream and a cherry on top. But she is honest. I guess she's tactful.

The love my mother has for me makes it easy for me to understand that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me unconditionally.

When I was on my mission, I received a blessing which said, "You have been blessed to know that you have a Father in Heaven who loves you." At the time I thought that was a strange blessing to have said that. Doesn't everyone know they have Father in Heaven who loves them? But as I looked for people to teach the gospel to, I found that it was rare to know that. The people I met had had hard things in their lives. They found God to be mean and vindictive from either their churches they attended or by their poor decisions.

I am grateful to my mom for giving me the gospel. I will forever be indebted to her for being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was one of only a few in the world to have such a blessing. I could have the truth that has guarded me again and again from making poor decisions that would deteriment my life. I could have the truth and wouldn't have to search for years to find it. I have what everyone is looking for, but hasn't found or hasn't realized that they are missing. Yet.

My mother is my best friend. I can tell her anything. She understands me like no one else. I have many close friends, but it's nice to know that you don't have to summarize the past for your mother everytime you talk to her.

My mother taught me to garden. She taught me to cook. She taught me to clean. She taught me to save my money and to be smart in how I spend it. She taught me to sew. She taught me to wash clothes.

My Junior High Friend Amber's Thoughts on Motherhood

2008-09-07T08:31:00.001-07:00

My life is full of excitement and drama. I don't have the kind of career that people want to hear about at parties and I don't pull down any kind of income. I haven't traveled the world and I really don't have a big social circle. But, I have a life that could make a hit TV show.

My claim to fame is my two little ones, Carter and Preston.

Meaningful

2008-09-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend I haven't seen in years and he described the last five years of his life of becoming a husband and father.
I told him of all my adventures during those five years--going on a 18-month service project, moving to Alaska, hosting Iraqi engineers for the UN, river guiding, living in Hawaii, persuing my goal of going to optometry school. When I was done, I just felt like looking back at both our lives that my seemingly meaningful events didn't seem meaningful at all anymore.
As I have thought of this the last six months--as I have worked for a retina surgeon doing medicine (meaningful right--saving peoples sight, right), I have still felt the emptiness of not being a mother.
President Kimball once said, that the most meaningful work a woman will do in his life is to raise a righteous family. The longer I live, the more I realize the significance of this statement. So when the time finally comes for me, I think I will have learned the lessons I need to appreciate my calling as a woman.

The Influence of a Parent

2008-09-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

I really liked this quote I found in my developmental psychology textbook when I attended BYU-Hawaii last summer.

"Failure to bring up a happy child, a well-adjusted child--assuming bodily health--falls squarely upon the parents' shoulders. [By the time the child is 3] parents have already determined . . . . whether . . . [the child] is to grow into a happy person, wholesome and good-natured, whether he is to be a whining, complaining neurotic, an anger-driven, vindictive, over-bearing slave driver, or one whose every move in life is definately controlled by fear. "
--John Watson, 1928